Tuesday, May 7, 2013

So that’s why the French talk that way…


     Dr. Williams asked us to blog about four funny things that happened to us this semester and why they were funny to us. Since the Laugh Lurker assignment counted as one of these blogs, that brings me to sharing three of the most memorable and funny experiences I’ve had this semester.

     I decided to wait until the end of the semester because I wanted to share moments with you all that really meant something to me—moments that still make me laugh days, weeks, (even months) after they happened. So here we go with funny moment number one:

     If you’ve been keeping up with my blogs, you know from a couple of my conversation partner writings that I’ve been doing a lot of dialect work this semester. This year was my first year on the TCU Forensics Speech and Debate team, and one of my individual speeches was a Program of Oral Interpretation (POI). A POI is basically a bunch of things spliced together to build an argument. You can pull an excerpt of pretty much anything you want to put in your program: prose, poetry, newspaper/journal articles, tweets, published diaries, etc. The only catch is that the speech has to be performed in an interpretive manner. That means you’re basically performing a one-man show with as many different characters/voices/personalities that you want.

     So, long story short, my POI addressed handicap accessibility issues in Europe. I argued that there was extremely little concern for people in wheelchairs trying to survive every day life in various European countries. (If you’re interested in learning more, let me know and we can talk about it.) I had four different characters, and I started this speech in January.

     Now, let me tell you, getting these characters to work was not an easy job. When I first started competing, I consistently got dead last in every competition I entered. Judges kept telling me that they couldn’t tell a difference in my characters, that I needed to add to my argument, etc. I have no idea how many hours my coach and I put into that piece, and how many times we changed the characters and voices I tried to pull off.

     I kept failing and failing, and by the time February rolled around, we were coming up on our last chance tournament to qualify for nationals: the district tournament. I finally had three of my characters down pat: a southern belle, a Midwesterner, and a British teacher. It was the week of the competition, and I still couldn’t find a way to make my fourth character distinct and memorable enough to even have a chance at making it to nationals. The competition was on Saturday, and I met with my coach on Tuesday morning to practice. We ran my piece once and went back to the same struggle of trying to figure out what to do with the fourth character. Finally, she had an idea. She turned to me and said: “You’re going to want to shoot me, but…can you do a French accent?”

     That definitely caught me off guard. I had spent two weeks trying to perfect a proper English accent and still had trouble with it sometimes. She wanted me to get a French accent four days before the competition? But, I wanted to make it to nationals, so I agreed to give it a try. We made a deal: I would work on the accent over the next couple of days, and if it wasn’t good by the time we met on Thursday morning, we would nix it and take the piece to competition as is.

     So, I came back to my dorm and spent hours trying to perfect the distinct sounds in a French accent. Luckily, I happen to have a friend in my dorm that spent four years of his life living in Belgium; therefore, he was pretty much my savior. Matt coached me for a good three to four hours that Tuesday night, trying to get me to say my vowels and “Rs” properly. By about one in the morning, we were both tired and a little brain dead from my inability to produce the proper sounds.

     We were about to give up, and I only had one more question for him. I had been watching how he moved his mouth to pronounce words for the past hour, trying to mimic him, and I just couldn’t understand how he seemingly wasn’t moving his lips when he talked. I looked at him and asked him how he was making his mouth so still and why he was puckering his lips outward to make the French sounds. Now, when Matt gets tired, he can come out with some pretty ridiculous and random things to say. As it was one in the morning, he’d reached his limit. He just looked me straight in the eyes, and, using his French accent, responded: “It iz becuz ze French, they want zeir lips to be closer to yours when ze speak.”

     Matt’s answer completely caught me off guard. Here I was legitimately trying to figure out how to move my mouth, and he came out with the most unexpected response playing upon the stereotype of the French being overly-sexual people. We both died laughing, and I still smile when I think about this occurrence today. It was the perfect comic relief to the frustrating situation I was in, and it was funny because I definitely was not expecting that cognitive shift. I’m just sad nobody else was around to witness the moment, because every time I’ve tried to tell somebody about it, it’s just not as great as when the original moment happened.

     To put a happy ending to this story, Matt’s coaching somehow managed to get me to perfect a French accent in two days. My coach approved the accent on Thursday morning, and I competed in districts with the accent on Saturday. It seemed that the snooty French character was just what my piece had been missing all along, because I made it to nationals. And, when I look back on my first year in debate, what I’m most proud of isn’t the fact that I made it to nationals my first time trying Forensics. It’s hard to do, but it’s a feat that other people have accomplished. What I’m most proud of is going from placing dead last in every competition to getting a French accent in three days and using that to fight my way to nationals. My underdog story is what I’m proud of, and the fact that I got to have a memorable laugh to go along with it just makes the story even better.

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